The Unspoken Struggle of Depression Among Mormon Women
How was I going to go grocery shopping today? I looked at my little yellow post-it list. Did we really need eggs? I felt defeated before I stepped out of the house, overwhelmed by a sense of sadness and hopelessness, and it wasn’t yet 10 am.
Anyone recognizing this scenario knows how debilitating depression can be. Draining, exhausting, paralyzing, always on the verge of tears.
The reasons behind the high depression rates among Mormon women in Utah uncovers the impact of cultural expectations and internalized sexism
In vast, picturesque Utah, where the majestic mountains are an impressive backdrop for valleys filled with hundreds of Mormon church spires, there lies a hidden struggle—a silent epidemic that cloaks itself behind the smiling faces of devout Mormon women. It's a narrative not often shared in the open, but the pain is real, and I too, have experienced its pain.
I am Lyn Smith Gregory, a descendant of the founder of the Mormon Church, Joseph Smith, and understanding my own depression led me to peel back the layers of required worthiness and perfection that have long disguised the suffering of many other Mormon women.
Understanding Depression Among Mormon Women
Utah, with its serene beauty and deeply rooted Mormon culture, presents a façade of familial bliss and spiritual fulfillment. Yet, beneath this veneer, a significant number of women bear the weight of an invisible burden. In 2021, reports revealed that 40.9% of Utah adults experienced anxiety or depression, with women disproportionately affected. This stark reality stands in sharp contrast to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints' portrayal of family harmony and happiness among its members.
Why Are Mormon Women in Utah Experiencing High Depression Rates?
The answers are as complex as they are revealing. The expectation to embody the perfect wife and mother, to always appear joyous and composed, casts a long shadow over many women's lives. This societal ideal, often referred to as the "Mother of Zion" syndrome, pressures women to hide their struggles behind a mask of perfection.
“In Mormondom, there is a social expectation--particularly among the females--to put on a mask, say ‘Yes’ to everything that comes at her and hide the misery and pain. You are supposed to be perfect because Mrs. Smith across the street can do it and she has three more kids than you and her hair is always in place. I think the cultural issue is very real. There is the expectation that you should be happy, and if you’re not happy, you’re failing,” Dr. Curtis Canning, president of the Utah Psychiatric Association, stated.
The Role of Sexism and Internalized Beliefs in LDS Communities
Utah’s culture, steeped in tradition and religious orthodoxy, often places women in a paradoxical role. On one hand, they are venerated as nurturers and caregivers; on the other, they face overt and covert sexism that undermines their sense of self. Studies and personal anecdotes reveal that Utah ranks among the highest in the nation in sexism, impacting women’s
opportunities, education, and political empowerment.
According to Utah Valley University business professor Susan Madsen, who has studied issues of bias and economic inequality affecting women in Utah, “Many women in the state prioritize family during their key earning years, which can leave them at a
disadvantage for potential and actual pay. Many women don’t plan for careers because they believe “motherhood will be their ‘prime career, even though they end up in the workforce for many years.'"
Internalized sexism refers to a set of beliefs that isolate or devalue women that have become internalized, prompting women to subconsciously accept their perceived inferiority. Growing up in environments where women are relegated to subordinate roles normalizes these beliefs, stifling individual agency and perpetuating cycles of depression.
I’m sure there are many Mormon women who feel fulfilled and are happy with their role in the family and community, and I’m not implying that these factors apply to all Mormon women. But if you’re a Mormon woman who struggles with depression or
anxiety, these are issues that you may want to examine.
Breaking Free From The Mormon Community Norms and Social Pressures
My own journey out of the LDS Church and Utah was both an escape and an awakening. Stepping away from the faith and the place I called home allowed me to confront the deeply ingrained beliefs that had silently shaped my existence.
When I experienced an episode of deep depression long after I left The Church, I had to confront the causes of my depression, which were buried deep in childhood experiences of devaluation and internalized sexism, inherent in the Mormon culture. In
the process, I realized I wasn’t alone, that my Mormon upbringing was a major contributor to my depression, and that other Mormon women must be experiencing the same feelings. I haven’t heard depression in women discussed openly in Utah and I
want to open a dialogue to help illuminate the hidden struggles of Mormon women.
A Path Forward: Understanding and Healing for LDS Women
Let’s have an honest and open conversation about the causes of depression for women in Utah and what can be done to mitigate and prevent depression. You are not alone, even though it may feel like it, as women in Utah often hide their depression behind a happy mask, toxic positivity.
Through sharing our experiences and supporting one another, we can pave the way for change, healing, and greater empowerment. Let’s speak up in our churches and communities, destigmatizing depression and sharing resources and support for treatment, as well as advocating for change in the culture’s sexist environment.
A good place to find support in Utah is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) where you can find local or online support groups: https://www.namiut.org. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) is also another excellent resource: https://healthunlocked.com/anxiety-depression-support
I want us to approach the issue of depression with empathy, understanding, and a desire to listen. By shedding light on these struggles, we can begin to dismantle the barriers to mental health and well-being.
As we share our stories, we not only navigate a path towards understanding and healing but also discover the immense strength found in our collective vulnerability.
I’ve written a memoir about my journey out of The Church but it isn’t just my story; rather it is also a reflection of the experiences of countless women navigating the intricacies of faith, culture, and personal growth within the LDS community. Through "We Were Smiths: Escaping the Shadow of Joseph Smith’s Mormon Legacy," I invite readers into a deeply personal yet universally resonant exploration of breaking free from inherited beliefs to find one's own truth. I’m now actively pursuing its publication.
For those intrigued by the nuances of Mormon culture, the challenges of questioning long-held beliefs, or the journey of leaving the LDS Church, my memoir offers a window into these experiences. I continue to share insights and stories on these topics and more through my blog, Heretic Survivor: From Mormon to Me. I invite you to explore the depths of our shared stories and the liberating power of embracing our truths at my website, lynsmithgregory.com. Join us!
