Heretic Survivor: From Mormon to Me
Navigating Life Beyond Mormonism
On my knees in the damp earth, I prayed that God would show me a sign that the Mormon Church was true. Silence. Nothing. Emptiness inside me. I stood up and whispered out loud, “I’m not a Mormon anymore” to the pale blue sky above me.
Welcome to "Heretic Survivor: From Mormon to Me," a space where we explore the complexities of navigating life beyond the confines of Mormonism. I'm Lyn Smith Gregory, and I'm excited and honored to share my journey with you.
My Royal Roots in Mormonism
I’m a Smith. My great great grandfather was founder Joseph Smith’s younger brother and first convert, so my roots in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints run deep. For four generations, my family embraced the teachings, rituals, and community of Mormonism. Growing up, I was enveloped in the confining tapestry of Mormon culture and my family’s legacy, with the Church's dogma shaping my identity and view of the world.
Shattering Illusions: Discovering Truth
As a teenager, 19 years old, I made a discovery that would alter the course of my life forever. I uncovered the unsettling truth: Joseph Smith, the prophet and central figure of Mormonism, was not the righteous leader I had been taught to believe in and revere. Instead, I uncovered evidence of deception, lies, manipulation, and outright fraud.
With this revelation came a seismic shift in my faith and identity. I had felt honored to be part of Mormon royalty, and now I was ashamed of my legacy and bloodline. My whole foundation crumbled beneath me, leaving me alone and unrooted in a world of uncertainty and doubt. Yet, amidst the chaos of my newfound disbelief, I discovered a profound sense of liberation. Free from the shackles of the Mormon church, I began a journey of self-discovery and spiritual exploration.
Memoir: We Were Smiths
In my memoir in progress, "We Were Smiths: Escaping the Shadow of Joseph Smith's Mormon Legacy," I chronicle the tumultuous path in leaving the faith of my family to a new world I needed to define for myself. It is a story of how a perfect Mormon family’s façade shattered, revealing trauma, secrets, and heartbreak, and how I struggled to navigate a delicate balance between my autonomy and my connection to family.
Redefining my worldview without the lens of Mormon dogma was much harder than I expected. Were there any real rules? What was true morality? What did this life even mean? I was surprised at how difficult it was to abandon long-held beliefs and my internalized demands for perfection, despite my desire to do so. I tried, moving from Utah to New York City, but still found I couldn’t outrun my past. I finally had to turn and confront the chains that still held me captive.
A Journey Together: Beyond Mormonism
In this blog, we will explore the myriad challenges and triumphs of life beyond Mormonism and other orthodox religions. We will grapple with the complexities of family dynamics, the search for spiritual fulfillment, and the quest for an authentic life.
Share Your Story With Me
I'd love to hear about your path out of religious dogma, Mormon or otherwise. I believe we find support in our shared experiences, strength in our collective resilience, and hope in the exciting possibilities that await us beyond Mormonism.
You can email me at lynsmithgregory@gmail.com. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn below.
